Healing Myself, part 1 (January - July)

2020... what can I say? It's SUCKED so far.

January found me in a depression and going to a therapist to get me out of my funk.

February wasn't horrible, except for the fact that I was sick with what we now think was Covid-19... the day after the SuperBowl Party we had. Yay.

March threw us into "quarantine" lock-down and the beginning of a downward spiral for me. John began to work from home and the kids were on a 2 week spring break.

April was all about getting the kids to do their schoolwork, even though NO ONE knew what was going on. We just had to be patient and go with the flow.

May was a continuation of April. We survived the 2019-2020 school year.

June was the beginning of it all. We had friends over here and there, tried to continue life as "normal" as possible. And that's when I started getting into the political downward spiral of this whole mess....
- I started following every right-leaning page I could on social media. I started reading as much as I could about politics and what politicians thought about CV-19. And I started questioning everything. It was to the point of becoming a little bit of a conspiracy theorist... and I'm usually not like that. It was also the beginning of a really rough valley for my husband and me, all because I just couldn't shut. up. about Covid-19, how much I HATED being told we had to wear a mask, and how it was all a political power grab for the Democrats. And I didn't even see it.
-I was becoming angrier and angrier. I'd get mad at my kids for NO reason at all. I'd get upset with John over little minute things that shouldn't even matter in any relationship, let alone a marriage. I was angry and mean to everyone I knew. And again... I didn't see it.

July began our traveling season. We didn't let Covid stop us. We went right along with our plans. Our first destination was Michigan to see my parents and siblings. We made a quick stop in Indiana to see our old neighbors for their annual summer party and have breakfast with my Aunt Jen before heading out.
-When we got to Michigan, everything was great. Mom and Pops were all in a tizzy about the political stuff going on, too, which didn't help my already spinning thoughts. We fed into each other. It really upset my sister-in-law, and I feel bad about that. The end of the week saw me ALL kinds of up-in-arms due to actions by everyone in the family, but especially my sister's fiancé. I didn't really like him the first time I met him, but this time cemented his image in my mind forever. I am usually not one to want to punch someone in the face, but since June, I wanted to punch everyone in the face... but especially him. Thankfully, I never had the opportunity, nor did I want to disrespect my sister.
-My second trip in July was to pick up my Mamaw's hutch from my cousin Nathan's storage unit. He and his wife were kind enough to store it for me while I waited for the first chance I could get to pick it up. This was a solo trip so that I could fit it in the back of my SUV. It fit beautifully. This trip was actually much needed. I enjoyed time with my Aunt Jen (who is always kind enough to allow me to stay for free), and my cousins (including Megan, who drove in from Chicago). I also had the blessing of seeing my bestie, Angela, some of my dearest loved ones from my youth, and have coffee with my friend Lynette. It was actually very refreshing.

Then... came... August.

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